The Gentle Note | The Question My Baka Would Have Asked You

"Tko pita, ne skita." — Croatian proverb (The one who asks doesn't wander.)

I want to try something different today.

No strategy. No AI tips. No frameworks. Just a question.

But first, let me tell you where this question comes from.

My baka — my grandmother — passed in 2016. She was 93. And she had this way of asking questions that made you feel like she already knew the answer. She wasn’t asking to learn something. She was asking to make you learn something.

She’d sit in her kitchen — always the kitchen, never the living room, because the living room was for guests and she considered herself the host of every conversation, even in her own home — and she’d look at you over her coffee. Not espresso, not latte, just Turkish coffee, strong enough to wake the neighbors. And she’d wait.

She never rushed. That was the thing about her. In a world that was already speeding up, she moved at the speed of truth.

And then she’d ask something like:

“Jesi li sretna?”

Are you happy?

Not “are you successful.” Not “are you making money.” Not “are you productive.” Not “are you growing your audience.”

Are you happy?

Three words. In Croatian, just two. And suddenly you’re sitting there with your mouth open because you realize you haven’t asked yourself that question in months.

The Questions We Forget to Ask

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. About the questions we never ask ourselves because we’re too busy answering everyone else’s.

“What’s your niche?”

“What’s your content strategy?”

“What’s your conversion rate?”

“What’s your Q2 plan?”

Good questions. Important questions. But they’re all outward questions. They point away from you. They ask about the machine, not the person running it.

My baka didn’t care about machines. She cared about people. And she had this almost supernatural ability to ask the one question you were avoiding.

When my cousin got a promotion and came to visit, beaming with pride, my baka didn’t say congratulations. She said: “A tko se brine za tvoju djecu dok ti radiš?” — And who takes care of your children while you work?

Not to be cruel. To be real. Because she knew that sometimes the thing we’re celebrating is also the thing that costs us something. And she believed you should know the price before you pay it.

The Question I’ve Been Avoiding

I’ll go first. Because I’m asking you to be honest, and that only works if I am, too.

The question I’ve been avoiding is this: Am I building something I actually want, or am I building something I think I should want?

Because there’s a version of my business that looks perfect on paper. The content calendar is full. The products are listed. The automations are running. The analytics are... well, the analytics are what they are. We’re working on it.

But when I sit with that question — really sit with it, the way my baka would have made me sit with it, with coffee and silence and nowhere to hide — I realize that some of the things I’m building are answers to questions nobody asked me.

Nobody asked me to post every day. I decided that. Nobody asked me to have five different content series. I decided that. Nobody asked me to optimize my funnel at 11 PM on a Wednesday. I decided that.

And my baka, if she were here, would look at me over her Turkish coffee and say: “A zašto?”

And why?

Not judgmental. Just curious. The way only someone who lived 93 years can be curious — with the patience of someone who knows that most of the things we rush toward aren’t going anywhere.

What She Would Have Asked You

If my baka could sit across from you right now — in her kitchen, with the good cups, because you’re a guest — she would not ask about your business.

She would not ask about your follower count or your email list or your latest launch.

She would ask you one of these:

“Kad si se zadnji put smijala tako da te boljelo?”

When was the last time you laughed so hard it hurt?

“Tko te zove kad je teško?”

Who do you call when it gets hard?

“Što bi radila da nitko ne gleda?”

What would you do if nobody was watching?

These aren’t business questions. They’re life questions. And in my experience, the answers to life questions are always better business strategies than anything you’ll find in a course.

Because when you know what makes you laugh, you know your voice. When you know who you call, you know your values. When you know what you’d do if nobody was watching, you know your purpose.

And purpose, my baka would say, is the only strategy that doesn’t expire.

Your Turn

I’m going to ask you one question. Just one. And I’d love it if you actually answered — not in your head, but here. Reply to this email. Or leave a comment. Or send me a message. Whatever feels right.

Here it is. My baka’s question, translated for 2026:

If you could only do ONE thing in your business for the next 30 days — just one — and everything else had to wait... what would it be?

Not the smartest thing. Not the most strategic thing. The thing that makes your stomach do that little flip. The thing you keep pushing to “next month.” The thing that scares you a little because it actually matters.

Što bi to bilo?

Tell me. I’m sitting here with my coffee — yes, at whatever hour you’re reading this — and I genuinely want to know.

Because my baka taught me that the best conversations start with one honest question. And the best businesses? They start the same way.

With love and a strong cup of coffee,

Anita

BabicADesigns — Where soul meets system.

P.S. — My baka also taught me that you should never leave a guest without offering them something. So here: if you’re feeling stuck between “what I should do” and “what I want to do,” my Sohana — The Inner Work Muse might help you find the answer. She’s an AI guide I built for exactly those moments. Hop over, if you want to try the 21-day journey. No pressure. Just an open door.